face to face is over... and well, i dunno... even tho sometimes i felt qt bored and i fell asleep like many times, i think i have been changed. yeah need to pray abt stuff and ask God some things but i definately feel something changed in that heart of mine :) in a good way of cos. but well i dunno la on the first night when he prayed for all leaders i cried so hard partly because of the presence of God that was so strong there and partly for another not so good reason. its been weighing on me and maybe thats y ive seemed more grouchy? i dunno la. somehow i feel revived and yet like my heart is breaking at the same time. i hope that my life WILL be changed in actions and deed not just in words and feelings. i dun wanna be the kind of christian that is run by emotions and when i feel good means im ok with God tt kind. yah. i wish i could bring myself to talk to someone abt it but dunno la.i dun think i ever will. i think i will force it out of my mind like what i do to everything else that bothers me until i cant take it then ill feel depressed for like. a day. haha. sometimes i think having a nature that doesnt dwell on things is detrimental for my mental health. maybe tts y im abit off haha. oops. hmm anyway some of the things tt ps david wong kim said really struck me and some of them comforted me so tts good :) all in all it was a really powerful seminar and im qt glad tt i sacrificed my 2 free days to go for it. lots to think abt i just hope i dun forget!!!! hmm anyway i can really feel something moving in our church! like im sure everyone could feel how wonderful worship was today and i thinkits cos of all the prayers going on downstairs for revival and renewal in the church! and yah. where God is his Spirit is also and it was really such a tangible presence in service today. its like i just feel like a miracle is going to happen anytime soon! haha. yeah. qt cool. i know in some of the big churches this is qt normal but u have to understand tt until only a few yrs ago my church was qt conservative and we really have opened up alot more! which is great :) cont to pray for uncle dan and the rest of the pastors who are doing such a great job leading us into this exciting time!

anyway i dunno if what u said was directed at me but i think it is and well i dunno lah. im sorry if i hurt u cos i din mean to but i guess it was just a defence mechanism and anyway i dunno la if ur not happy with me just tell me ya. ur my fren i wun like purposely go and hurt u la ok. yeps.its just tt old habits die hard i guess.

hmm qt a rollercoaster day today la. lots to think abt and i really dun like thinking!!!! but well. tts what growing up is abt rite... working thru my own faith and the stuff tt worry me instead of just pretending the doubts and fears dun exist. just pray for strength to face up to it i guess :) anyway cell was good today. i hope tt things cont in this vein :)